last evening i was strolling in the parque central and happened upon a ragtag group of musicians and buskers. there was a guitarist, whose sounded like Manu Chao when he was singing, a djembe player, and a guy juggling in time with the music. i watched them for a long time, they just kept going and going. when someone tried to give them money they were thankful, but then said they were only playing for fun.

i ran into them again in the calle, this afternoon.

this morning i visited the most bizarre museum of natural history. it is on the second floor of a glorious romanesque building flanking the central park. the interior has clearly not been renovated since the 50´s. lots of the signs were traced and cut out of neon bristol board and glittery foil. notably, i saw a quetzal bird...stuffed and encased of course. probably the only quetzal i will ever see. it was bizarrely mounted on a neon perch covered in fake cardboard flowers, and in front of it was a sign describing a presidential edict on the right to carry arms in the 1800´s. as well, i saw precolumbian pottery and sculptures, which were haphazardly arranged in flimsy glass cases. some of these articles are 6000 years old. it made me wonder how many mayan artifacts have been taken out of guatemala over the years by wily archeologists on the hunt for treasures, and are now featured in the museums of london, paris, new york, etc.

the natural history portion of the museum featured some of the most strange displays: a stuffed chow-chow dog, a human fetus in a jar, budgies and toucans victims of shoddy taxidermy, ocelots with giant fake glass eyes that gave them a hysterical appearance, and....an 8 legged baby dear. the sign in front of it described how after it was born, it only survived 5 minutes, laboriously expelling a yellow liquid from its snout.

Entonces…the trip from nebaj to todos santos is off. I went to the Quetzaltrekkers hq today and they haven’t got any tours going out on weekdays. They directed me to Kaqchikel tours, and I signed up for a 2 day hike up Volcan Tajumulco. We set out tomorrow at 6 am. The volcano is 4500 m tall, I think, and from the peak you can see all the way to Nicaragua.

Yesterday I wrote about assaults against tourists…while these happen frequently in Guatemala, the most serious problem is the assault against women that occurs so frequently it is almost mundane. Domestic abuse is a serious issue here, and especially in these parts, according to some stats I read last night. The most dangerous place to be a woman is apparently in the Huehuetenango region, slightly north of here. Most of the abuse and killings of women are not investigated whatsoever. Already since January there have been over 70 murders of women, and none or very few have been investigated.

This place is fascinating because it is so beautiful in some ways, and in others, so hideous.

Knock on Wood

i don't want to jinx myself by writing too much about it...but i am applying for a research assistanceship with my idol, stephen lewis, who is mcmaster university's new scholar in residence.

i might actually go into hiding somehwere on the mosquito coast if i don't get this job.

Not to worry.

Hmm....yeah, i realize that the last entry might cause my parents to go into cardiac arrest.

I just want to promise everyone that I am actually feeling quite safe.

I meet a lot of other women traveling solo here. None of them have reported to me any incidents hapening to them. The worst that occured, said one, was that here sunglasses were stolen off her face in Tegucigalpa.

"Hola, me llamo Chili..."

Every time I stroll through the central park in Antigua, the greetings I receive from pre-pubescent looking boys get more and more ludicrous. The lastest on takes the cake.

I am in Xela now. It is a surprisingly large city sprawling over the mountainous highlands in western central Guatemala. The ride here was perilous. I decided to be brave and take the chickenbus, which is basically a vividly painted school bus that gets crammed to capacity with passengers. During part of the ride, we were three to one seat, with two little boy stuffed between our knees and the seat in front. Oh yeah, and we almost crashed into a tree. For some reason, the driver thought it would be really good to drive extremely fast on a narrow and winding road with no shoulder. We closely averted hitting a van head on, and the driver lost control of the bus for a few seconds. The bus tilted and swerved and everyone was screaming. After he regained control, the old man sitting next to me commented that taking the chickenbus can be dangerous. I replied that it was my first time on this mode of transportation, and perhaps my last, and everyone giggled nervously.

There were stunning views between Chimaltenango and Xela. We climbed further and further up into the mountains until my ears popped and i saw that we were in the clouds. Everywhere around us, coffee plots. Everything was green, and beautiful.

I met a nice girl on the bus and we split a ride into central Xela. She helped me find a hostel and for 45Q a night (6 dollars) i get my own room - which is spotlessly clean - hot water showers, a breakfast in the morning, and i am lodged a mere 3 blocks away from the central park. i am meeting my new mate for dinner tonight. i forgot until mid-day that today is my 24th birthday. i'll definitely be drinking a Gallo tonight to celebrate being almost 1/2 way through my 20's.

Xela can be pretty dangerous. I am not writing this to alarm anyone, but about a week ago, a foreign couple walking down the street were abducted here. They were pulled into a passing car, taken a house, and the girl was raped. Then at gunpoint, they were taken to an ATM and made to withdraw hundreds or thousands of dollars and hand them over to the assailants. I am now hyper aware that this country isn't safe. Antigua made me forget that I am in Guatemala...it was a bit like Disneyland. Xela feels a lot closer to the reality of the country. Walking around this afternoon, I didn't feel worried at all, but I would never go out into the streets at night here. Especially not now that I have heard this awful, and true, tale. I tell myself that my safety doesnt have much to do with me being alone. Nevertheless, I have really become of aware of the limitations of traveling here. I am getting excited to leave for Nicaragua, which is a much safer country.

My teacher Cristina described the security situation here as a new civil war. Although most of it is confined to Guate City, the violence exists everywhere and the shockwaves rock everyone.

I have pretty much decided 100% on doing the 6 day Nebaj-Todos Santos hike. I am excited and apprehensive at the same time.

3 Countries, 2 Months, 1 Girl

serenity, where are you?

i feel preoccupied by all kinds of things - i have since i got here. i am counting down my last days in antigua. there is no time or space to be introspective, and overall i really just want some hours to myself. on sunday - my 24th birthday - i think i will go to chichicastenango for the famous market day. and then onto to xela (quetzaltenango) to visit guatemala's second city and go on an amazing sounding hike with the guides from Quetzaltrekkers, a company that uses its revenue to fund local nonprofit organizations (http://www.quetzaltrekkers.com/guathome.html). i am quite excited for this and very much looking forward to roaming around the guatemalan highlands (although not excited for the cloudy days, cold nights, and constant rain). i think i am going to climb volcan tajmulco, the highest point in central america. looking forward to lots o' huffing and puffing.

my teacher cristina and i have been having really profound discussions - all in spanish thank you very much. today we talked about man - woman relations in latin america. and this eventually brought us to the topic of revenge murders. i read a while back that guatemala has a very horrifying record for homicide of young females. and most of these murders are never investigated. i asked cristina why guatemala is such a dangerous place to be a girl, and she said that a lot of the violence has to do with the profliration of gangs, or in spanish, pandillas. female pandilleras are either murdered when they try to leave the gang, or murdered by a pandillero (ex) boyfriend. violence is very hidden in antigua. i have a hard time believing that this is a dangerous place. it is a bubbling at the surface though.

i have been in guate for a week and a half, mainly in antigua. i dont know what to make of this place...it is charming in so many ways. it has cobblestone streets, colonial era buildings painted in ochre, red, and yellow. in antigua there is a weird mix of overdriven consumption on the part of the tourists and moneyed locals, as well as a whole plethora of restos / bars catering to the hedonistic ways of the half-assed students who study in the multiple local language schools.

on the other hand, grandmas in traditional mayan clothes are sitting on the kerb selling tamales for 10 cents each. and like in montreal, i feel the constant presence of jesus. there are churches everywhere...beautiful crumbling buildings of absolute splendour and grandiose historicity. most of the population is catholic. i am currently living with the De Oliveda family. The walls of their house are absolutely plastered with photos of the Christ and renderings of Bible passages.

On a not so Catholic note, I am taking salsa lessons with your stereotypical latino dance teacher. His name is Alberto, he is tall, dark, handsome, and he sure likes women. Our lessons are peppered with comical interludes where he quizzes me about my romantic preferences: do I like Latino men more than Canadian men? Do I have a boyfriend? Do I believe in Love?

My answer to the first two are: "Alberto, no me importa." The answer to the last one: of course... But that's another story.

Anyway, my salsa dancing skills are improving rapidly (not so unbelievable, as I had no previous experience to surpass). I can do 6 or 7 different steps, and Alberto and I can dance for an hour straight. I love this - I can't believe how much fun it is. And i have come to realize that the salsa steps I was teaching people back home were entirely wrong. Therefore, I apologize.

My spanish is another thing that is improving drastically. I spend all day speaking in my new tongue...my rolling "R"s are sensational.

I like it here...but I have to leave soon. I feel like I am living in a make believe land. I don't know what I am looking for: an "authentic" experience like I had in Africa? I have a feeling it's going to be impossible here...I am too much of a tourist, to much of a foreigner. There is a wall between me and the "real" Guatemala. Perhaps it helps that I am on my own. I'll tell you in a little while.

hmm...

i am in panajachel. i just returned from a short trip to san pedro, on the lago atitlan. it rained most of the afternoon.

kind of lonely today. traveling alone can suck, sometimes. like not being able to walk around at night. and seeing all the other tourists and travelers with their mates, while one is wandering alone down the main drag. and feeling conversation starved. i think the only quote unquote conversation i had today was a 10 minute back and forth with a girl (who looked about 6 years old) about why i wasnt going to buy anything from her.

i feel stupid. i got a (cheap) room down by the lake. but that part of pana is kind of deserted. i could have gotten a (cheaper) room in town and more easily met other travelers. man, this place sure is touristy.

i am going to take the chickenbus back to antigua tommorrow. my spanish lessons start at 8 am on monday. hope i can clear the fog from my head. i have been feeling really overly mellowed out and very much stuck in my own universe. i hope i meet people soon.